When you feel worthless, nothing else matters. They tell me ‘hurt people hurt people.’ When I was hurt, I did.
Don’t get me wrong. It was not intentional. I made decisions based on what the embittered, broken me needed in order to feel appreciated, loved and valuable again. I made them to help her grow stronger, because she was dying. And she was killing me.
Wounds bleed for a reason. Like blood cells, the very things intended to heal can often miss their mark and create a mess. The stains don’t all wash out, either. Some sink deep and take professional services to remove. And when you scratch the surface, the color under your nails changes. The color makes it real. You feel it under there. It’s telling you to go get a proper tool for removal because scratching the surface just spreads the mess.
Every tool isn’t meant for stain removal. Some people use stains to decorate their places, enhance their spaces. Enhance. Improve. The stains under my nails are nothing. Washed out long ago, I stained my floors instead and walk on mercy now.
God kept me when I was worthless. If He kept me, was I worthless? My mess is a stain He’s using to enhance. Yeah, those stained floors. You have some. I know. Stain, then, stand…on His mercy.
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